Swinger Lifestyle Details

What is swinging?
Swinging is a form of recreational social sex between consenting adults, most commonly consisting of male/female couples meeting other male/female couples for sex and/or ongoing intimate friendships

In the 21st century it is more important than ever that swingers be entitled to choose their own lifestyle without persecution. The social system has been shaped by history, creating a changing set of expectations considered "normal". We have been influenced by changing social orders in an age in which the pressures to conform to former norms are being seriously questioned. The ideal of romantic marriage provides a model where the marital partners have exclusive sexual rights to each other and the duty to satisfy each other's physical and emotional needs. Many marital partners experience disenchantment when this perfect ideal fails.

Most people are critical in their perceptions of the world and wish desperately to enlarge the boundaries of their lives. Swingers are just such people. Swingers are members of a group that is actively seeking changes in stereotyped attitudes toward differences from outdated traditional values. Many have undergone positive changes in their own attitudes toward themselves, their partners and others. They have taken the opportunity to be free to choose to behave in ways, which were restrained from past conditioning. As adults we have not been free to choose an alternative lifestyle without being subjected to destructive responses from the majority of people in society, family, friends, neighbors etc.

Adults have the potential for creating various relationship forms where they can achieve mutual support, fulfillment of love and fellowship needs. It is important to evaluate this form of human relationship {swinging} by the caring nature of the responses they offer to others who engage in their lifestyle, rather than by the physical pleasures they take.

Respect for different relationship choices demands a great deal more internal character on the part of adults than most have. To overcome the pressures, set out by the moral fundamentalists and our own lying families, to conform to their traditional expectations is overwhelming. It is always easier to blend in by accepting cultural expectations than to "rock the boat" and be an individual with opposing beliefs. Unaware that their reactions to the unknown are anchored in their pre-programmed childhood, causes a terrible dilemma for the adult. Only through serious self-exploration can we find a mind set not influenced by others personal agendas. What do they say, "Only the strong survive"? Well in this case only the strong of mind prevail in marching through the pit of the status quo and locating the tranquility the swinging lifestyle offers and will continue to offer into the next millennium.


How do I meet a swinger?

Well the concept of swinging is still a taboo so people don't go around wearing t-shirt that says I am a swinger. But you will be surprised to know that your best friend, colleague or neighbor has been participating in the lifestyle.

One way to meet swingers is to go to swingers clubs.( once you become member, we will send you a list of clubs in your area) I am sort of amazed how many clubs are forming and how many members they claim every week. Most clubs require medicals and are couples only.

Also there are telepersonals. These are telephone ads with people desiring to meet you.
Usually these services are not up-to-date, are expensive and it take a lot of luck and effort to meet someone compatible.

And then you have internet swinging...such as this. Sure you would expect me to tell you that this is the best way to meet a swinger. But actually, its not... I am a fervent swinger myself and I have been surfing the net since '89 in the lifestyle. I have been duped, posted hundreds of ads, spent a lot of money on membership fees, wasted time answering ads from perverts. This site tend to answer or correct all that and make it easier for the newcomers in the lifestyle to join in.

Is it Safe?
I wish I could tell you it is completely. But if it is any comfort to you, I could say that I have been heavily involved in the lifestyle and never had any problem nor did I hear anything out of the ordinary. But It is in order for me here to advise you to use your judgment and the littlest things are the most important:

never give detailed info in ads
exchange a lot of email before meeting
if the other party is pushing to meet sooner, forget him/her/them
only give info when you feel comfortable
ask for their telephone # or exchange #s at the same time.
talk on the phone before meeting
always tell a friend or parent about the relationship, where and when you will meet the persons and give them as many details as you can about the other party.
let the other party know (subtly of course) that your friend or parent is aware of your meeting.
always meet in a public place.
USE COMMON SENSE.

How do I convince my partner?

Of all the questions, this is the most asked and the most difficult from my stand point to answer since I did not have to go through the process of convincing my partner. But in any case, i think the answer will vary from one individual to another.

If you are married, I strongly suggest you try and involve your wife. Your swinging alone is not a good sign of a good marriage. Swinging is and should be much different than having an affair. It should be an enjoyable activity that a couple participate in and can in most case reinforce the liens. Let her know of your intents and you might be surprised.

One of the reason why a partner might refuse at all to participate in the lifestyle is if they feel as though they are not satisfying you and you are looking for something else. Make sure you show them that you are happy with what you have and that you only wish to expand your sexual life.


What are my chances of meeting through your sevices?

You will be surprised how many people are looking for the same thing. Some just can't have enough of it, some are lonely, some are housewives, some (most) are couples looking to expand their sexual life. So it al depends what you are looking for. But most ads placed here are genuine, current and decent therefore you will not be wasting your time.

Couples' DOs and Don't

First the DOs

•Try new things, be open minded

•Communicate with each other

•Keep your partner’s comfort and security in mind at all time.

•Don’t rush: Don’t do something just because everyone else around you is doing it. This is a lifestyle and you have your whole life to enjoy it! One step at a time.

•Set limits and Stick to it

•Wear something sexy: this is especially important for us women to feel sexy. It boost our confidence and help us be more aggressive

•Be polite and considerate: even when rejecting someone, do it respectfully.

•Have a drink and mingle: try talking to people. Not necessarily people you would be interested in but even those you are not.

•Ask questions…

•Censor your images so if you are naked, your face is not showing or if your face is showing then make sure it’s a g-rated pic.*(see comment below).

•Read other people’s profile: don’t just look at the picture and rush to answer. Make sure you are compatible… this will save you time and translate to less rejections.

•Make sure you are clean.

•Always wear Condoms!

•Be honest and describe yourself objectively.

Now the DONTs
•Don’t do anything you and/or your mate are not comfortable with “just to fit in”

•If it does not feel right don’t do it.

•Be afraid of rejection and let that be a barrier from approaching others.

•Don’t be too aggressive or overpowering.

•Do it without condoms.

•Don’t get drunk, loud or pushy.

•Smoke around people who don’t.

•Don’t lie about yourself, your looks or your status.

•Post naked pictures with your face showing.

•No means no. Respect their boundaries and they will respect yours.